It benefits you to be interested in others

I’ve never really addressed the question of what positive living is, have I?

Part of the reason for that I suppose is that it’s going to be different for everyone – at least in the detail, but perhaps in general there are things we all want.

We all want to be loved, for example. (Don’t try and hide, I know you do too!). We all want to feel safe and secure, and we all need that spice of life – variety, don’t we?

But the bottom line is, we feel we’re living positively when we feel we’re getting somewhere. And in order to feel that, we have to have an idea where we think we want to get to, right? Just getting by doesn’t feed the soul. Paying the bills may be necessary, but it won’t warm the heart.

Today, in case you’ve lost the knack, dare to dream. Where do you want to be in a year’s time? In five or ten? And before you dismiss this with thoughts of “it’s for others, but not for me,” remember that old Chinese proverb: “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” And, I would add, often with a simple step too.

What single, simple step could you take today that would start your odyssey? It needn’t be expensive or expansive, just personal and definite.

And who knows, once you’ve taken it, tomorrow you may find it so much easier to take the second.

Stand by Your Own Character

Patience is a Virtue

Urgency drives better results

“A mentor is someone who allows you to see the hope inside yourself.” Oprah Winfrey

I have personally been amazed by the increased level of my own performance through the use of an accountability partner.

Whether you call them coaches, mentors or partners, they are among the most important people in your life.

My definition of a coach is someone who collaborates WITH you to help you achieve, and EXCEED your goals quickly and efficiently. A coach challenges your self-limiting attitudes and inspires you to strive for new levels of greatness in your life while holding you accountable for your actions.

In my experience, a coach will provide you with 3 critical components that will drive you to success; Motivation, Inspiration and Education.

Motivation. Whether you are a highly motivated self-starter or the world’s worst procrastinator, your coach provides instant motivation by simply being aware of your intentions. If you say you are going to finish a task by a certain date but tell no one, it is very easy to miss the deadline and let yourself off the hook using excuses. If you set a clear and measurable goal WITH your coach and ask him/her to hold you accountable, a whole new variable has entered the equation… your personal PRIDE.

In my experience, most people find it very painful to admit to someone else that they failed to uphold a commitment. Since this is the case for most of us, LET’S USE THIS to our advantage! Your coach is someone who will hold you accountable and ensure you are staying committed to yourself and your dreams.

Inspiration. A coach also provides the added benefit of an entirely new perspective on your life. The way YOU see yourself and the way your coach sees you is going to differ. If you are locked in on a limiting belief that has been preventing you from achieving your full potential, your coach will point this out to you. Sometimes we need someone else to first believe in us so that we

can believe in ourselves. When you have a high quality coach working with you, he/she can provide the inspiration to help you see the potential in yourself that you may not yet have noticed.

Education. If you want to receive full benefit from a coach, you must be willing to be a learn it all’ (as opposed to a know-it-all’). If you are prepared to be a student of success and learn from your coach, there are literally no limits to what you can accomplish. This does not mean that your coach has mastered life and has the keyto infinite, universal wisdom. All it means is that your coach is someone who is also committed to success and has plenty of life experience to share that will help you with your goals and aspirations. Work together with your coach and keep an open mind and you will see the results in your life changing faster than you could ever imagine!

“I’ve always had confidence. It came because I have lots of initiative. I wanted to make something of myself.” — Eddie Murphy

I love this quote.

Have you noticed the same thing in your life when it comes to confidence? I mean, we all want to feel as confident as possible… as often as possible. But confidence can be elusive.

Initiative breeds confidence. When you start taking big bold actions, and lots of them, you start to gain an unseen “momentum”. As you gain feedback from the actions, you will be inspired to take even more actions.

Your confidence grows because you are in sort of a “hyper-learning” mode. The more initiative you have, the more confidence you will create.

What are 3 big areas in your life where you can exercise your initiative and make something happen?

“Persistence is to the character of a man as carbon is to steel.” — Napoleon Hill

Character.

How would you define your personal character? How would others define your personal character?

Persistence is really all about faith and belief. If you are working on big plans for your life, there is a very good chance that you are going to face obstacle after obstacle.

There isn’t really some magic event where suddenly all obstacles get removed and life gets easy. Life IS persistence and your ability to persist will ultimately define who you are.

How strong is your own self belief and faith? Could it be stronger? Use today to think about your life in ways that will only strengthen your persistence muscles and drive you forward towards those big goals and dreams that you have been envisioning.

Whenever you say “I am this or that” the implication is that there is something else that is not you.

Just for today, be aware of where you begin and end. Ask yourself if you could physically exist without the air. Or the sun. Or gravity. How about a plant-free planet? When you eat an apple, how do it’s molecules become you?

Where is the “I” that you refer to anyway? You say, “I have a headache,” even, “I have a body” but where is the “I” that has those things? There is a real sense, isn’t there, that there is a you that is looking out from inside your head and from behind your eyes?

In that case, might the real you be something eternal, permanent and just plain wonderful?

This past month, my wife and I have started sending our 2 sons to public daycare. The 1 year old is too young to understand what is going on so he is always happy to be there. The 3 year old, on the other hand, has been having a very difficult time in the mornings. As soon as we get in the car, he starts crying and it gets progressively more intense as we get closer to the daycare. By the time we are in his classroom, he is in a near panic, screaming and drawing intense stares from the other parents and staff. Within seconds of me leaving, he completely calms down and gets absorbed with some fun new activity that he would not have been able to experience at home.

Witnessing this really drove home a new realization for me. We all have the ability to experience happiness (or any other positive emotion for that matter) at any time we choose to do so. The advantage with children is that they let go very quickly and have a much easier time living in the moment.

I started thinking more about how most adults handle these kinds of situations, myself included, and in the majority of cases it takes a much longer time to move from a depressed state to one of positivity and happiness.

I can think of many times in my life where I spent an entire day in a negative state carrying around a grudge about something that happened many hours (or even days) prior. At the time, I didn’t even realize that I had control over the situation. Complete victim mentality.

Having spent a number of years working on my own personal development, I now experience far more happy and positive moments than negative ones. But I think it is only human to have times when the doom and gloom creeps in. My new strategy when dealing with these circumstances is to literally think like a 3 year old.

As an example, a few weeks ago I was expecting payment from a client with whom I made an agreement to offer a monthly payment plan. This was something I did more as a favor than a standard policy. When the client ignored my first, then second payment request, I felt myself becoming extremely frustrated. In the past, an event like this might have soured my mood, and in turn my productivity for the entire day (if not longer). I used the opportunity to literally picture myself as the 3 year old easily moving from one moment of devastation to a brand new moment of fun and opportunity. Instead of picking up a coloring book or a new toy fire truck, I picked up my laptop and began working on an exciting new project that I was involved in. My mood shifted immediately. I then took it up a notch with some inspiring music and before I knew it I was feeling amazing and very excited about my day.

I have still not been paid by that client but I’m okay with that now. The new project that I got involved in has already more than paid for the unpaid bill from my deficient client and I’m having a lot more fun with what I’m doing now.

Next time you are feeling overwhelmed by negativity, frustration, anger or depression, try remembering what it was like as a kid when you could experience pure happiness at any moment you chose to do so!